Tweet crimes!

Some people say they find Twitter addictive. Unfortunately, us followers are often forced to plough through the results, waiting patiently for those golden nuggets of wisdom we followed them for in the first place.

So, if you want to avoid being a tweeting twit, here is a short checklist of things to ask yourself before you hit the “Tweet” button.

1. Why am I tweeting this?
Most people have trouble trying to think of something to tweet at the best of times (if they have the times, that is!), so we often get things like “looks like rain outside” or “wonder who will win X Factor this year” or “these new biscuits are nice”…matters of complete banality and lacking any imagination whatsoever. Please make sure there’s a point to your tweet, whether that be to entertain, share or inform.

2. Too much information?
Social media seems to have turned many of us into a load of bleeding hearts and whiners. Instead of keeping our sorry thoughts to ourselves or sharing them with people close to us, we must now let the world know via the world of Twitter. You may well be feeling a bit peeved that your loved one has run off with someone else or that your client hasn’t paid you on time. If so, deal with them, not us! Some people have lost clients by whining about others through their social media outlet. Those potential clients feel they may be next, so it’s best to stay away. If this relates with you, best to keep quiet.

3. Who the hell cares?
For reasons that baffle me to the point of irritation, some tweeters never ask themselves this important question. If I had a pound for the amount of times I have read about people “needing a coffee” or “dying for a brew”, I could open my own light refreshments outlet – on Oxford Street! At least, then, I would have a reason to be remotely interested! Otherwise, I hate to break it to you folks, but nobody actually cares if you desire a shot of caffeine – not even your own mother. And, even if she did, it would probably be out of maternal courtesy. Can I plead with tweeters who are reading this blog to think hard and ask themselves this:  ‘is there really anybody, other than myself, who would benefit or be just the slightest bit interested in what I am about to tweet?’ Please. I’d even offer to make you a coffee myself – if I was in the vicinity and you promised not to tweet about it every five minutes. Sadly, that’s just not practical.

So, there you have it. I’d love to be able to get this down to 140 characters but I bet even uber-tweeter Stephen Fry couldn’t do that. Ah well, better go and fix myself that drink! God, I need one now.

3 thoughts on “Tweet crimes!

  1. Pingback: Now Twitter finally makes business sense! |

  2. Pingback: Jane Binnion » Twitter Sceptic turns Twitter Strategist – Neil Stoneham

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